The Eternal Question

I need a coat I’ve decided. I can’t make it through another harsh California winter without one. I have the ski jacket (that has been tested to withstand temperatures well-below freezing) my grandparents bought me when I was a freshman in college, but it’s almost too much coat. It’s like putting a full-body cast on a paper cut…overkill. I need something in between my barely-warm blue hoodie and the stay-puff marshmallow coat.

So as I was perusing my weekly Chadwick’s catalog, I found a cute wool pea coat on page 33. It’s $70, but since I’m a preferred Chadwick’s customer (I don’t mean to brag) I have a coupon for $20 off. So $50 isn’t bad for a coat. I’m just a bit nervous buying it on line as I HATE returning things in general, but returning catalog items is even more of a nightmare.

Then comes the question of color. Which color do I choose? My first reaction was pink 'cause I'm going through my pink phase. But I fear that since it is a phase I will grow out of it, then be stuck with a pink coat. Then I thought black, but that's too boring. So then I thought Lavender of course, being that purple is my signature color (and represents sexual frustration, or so I was told in the elevator one day). But blue did become my new purple this past spring, which is of course before I started my affair with the color pink making it my new blue, which had formerly been my new purple.

So do I go with the flavor or the month, pink? Or do I go back to purple? Or do I consider blue, seeing as it is more of a classic color, while at the same time, not being as obvious as black? Or do I just layer my clothes all winter and hunker down ‘til spring?

Monday's Suck

I hate Monday’s. And not for the reasons everyone else in the United States hates Monday's. I hate Monday’s ‘cause it’s newsletter day at work. Every Monday I end up working 9-12 hours just to get the newsletter out. Tonight I worked ‘til 7:30. It’s always something..if it’s not waiting ‘til 6 to get the copy, or waiting on the designer to give me the code, I’m waiting on final edits. It can’t ever be a simple process.

The only thing I hate worse than Monday’s are Tuesday’s. ‘Cause Tuesday’s are when I get all the comments about the VAR News from the day before. People who should have better things to do with their day than comment on the newsletter. People who only read half the article than decide to comment on it (DIE HAG). It’s like they read at the top of the newsletter “to pick apart my hard work, please hit reply.”

All I have to say about it is FUCK IT!

Where Have I Been?

So I’ve been in that dark place I often go to when I’m sick, or bored or stressed. I retreat into my bedroom and only come out to go to work. It’s awful ‘cause I find myself so severely unmotivated to do anything. But I always bounce back.

Last night NBC named the Last Comic Standing. Alonzo won. Now, nothing against him, I think he’s hilarious, but his last set was not as strong as either John’s or Dave’s. I really think the rabid John and Dave fans ended up canceling out each other’s votes somehow.

But at this point it’s an empty title. NBC sucked all the marrow out of the LCS franchise and it is dead for sure. I definitely won’t have to talk my comedy buddy Devin out of standing in line for 9 hours to audition for Last Comic Standing 4…at least I hope not.

Note to Self: Get a better couch

Sick days are not meant to be used when you are really sick. They are for days when it’s just too nice to possibly go into the office or when you have an audition.

I spent all day between my bed and the couch trying to avoid the streaming sunlight coming in through my bedroom and the sounds of the wanna-be drummer two doors down. I also got to hear an argument staring my neighbors on the right. Apparently the wife or girlfriend paid more than the minimum on the credit card and the husband/boyfriend was thoroughly ticked off. Boy do I wish I was married.

At least tomorrow is Friday. Nothing bad can happen on Friday.

Insomniac

There is no quality television on at 2 AM.

Last Comic Posting

I hope I am not the typical American viewer. I was more excited for the finale of Last Comic Standing than I was for the VP debate. Of course all my votes went for Dave Mordal and Dick Cheney.

Freakin’ Jay Mohr kept doing his Christopher Walken impression. What else you got Jay??? Anything? That it? GO AWAY!!!

You would think watching four awesome comedians perform tonight would inspire me to write some jokes this evening, wouldn’t you?

Now, a moment of silence for the passing of Mr. Rodney Dangerfield.

I Love Being an Adult

Dinner tonight: One small Snickers McFlurry and a Diet Coke

Ten Things I Learned Today (In order)

1. People like Kellogg’s Special K with Vanilla and Almonds as much as I do
2. Recycling is for people who have time to wait in line behind the guy who spends all day digging through dumpsters for plastic
3. Boy scouts get the fuzzy-end of the lolly-pop. They have to sell popcorn while the girl scouts get those yummy thin mints.
4. Guys don’t call the next day
5. People like getting free stuff, even if it’s shitty
6. Jokes about diabetes aren’t always funny
7. Records Managers know how to par-tay
8. I just can’t play pocket Aces correctly
9. The laundry room on the other side of my complex smells like cat pee
10. I miss being able to read for pleasure

Life, it is So Fragile

Do you ever have one moment that is so etched into your soul that you know you will remember it tell the end of time? I had one of those moments. Tonight at 6:55 pm my cell phone rang. I answered it, and it went dead. I tried calling back the person who called me and I got a “call failed message.” I tried again, and again, and still nothing. I thought the number was wrong so I dialed again. Call failed. Out of frustration I dialed my land line number. Call failed. I started randomly dialing numbers, failed, failed, FAILED.

After 20 minutes on hold with Cingular (from my land line, which doesn’t have long distance set up by the way), my friendly, yet obviously congested, operator Trevor spoke, “all the Cingular towers around LA are down ‘til morning.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

So here I am surrounded by all my technology, my computer, my television, my neon blue Pabst Blue Ribbon Sign, and I can’t make a long distance phone call. What if there were an emergency? Well I could use my land line, but what if my emergency were in Iowa, huh? How could my mom get hold of me….oh wait..nevermind.

At least Trevor said I will be reimbursed for my lost time. That $1.16 is small consolation for the pain I’ve had to endure.