Leana's Comedy Blog Etc...

The continuing saga of a single, burgeoning stand-up comedienne/wanna-be poker ingénue/bitter corporate drone/closet hermit/hapless homeowner…living in L.A.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

She Rides Again!

Saturday is the kick-off of the Winter Team in Training season. Yours truly has been asked to be a mentor and I'm excited to be part of such a great cause. I'll be training to participate in the Santa Barbara half marathon. (Sista already walked a full marathon, she ain't got nothin' else to prove.)

I'm also going to participate in the Long Beach half-marathon through my company. So really, It's like I'm doing a full marathon-just half in October and the other half in November. ( those 8,035 hours in-between is just a little less than it took me to walk the actual San Diego marathon.)


If you are interested in participating, come to the kick-off party at the Culver City High school. I'll be there! Here's the info:




Winter Kick Off is here and you're invited!

Learn about Team In Training, sample food and drinks and be entertained.


When: Saturday, July 28, 2007 from 9:00 a.m. until noon

Where: Culver City High School

4401 Elenda Street
Culver City, CA 90230

Join us and:


Register for your event
Meet your team

Pick up your training schedule and gear

Meet Partners of Team In Training

Enter our raffle

Hear motivational speakers

Visit our sports booths


Upcoming Events for the Winter Season:


Santa Barbara News-Press Half Marathon - November 3, 2007
El Tour de Tucson - Century Ride - November 17, 2007

Honolulu Marathon - December 9, 2007

Rock 'n Roll Marathon & Half Marathon - January 13, 2008



For more information, visit our website at www.teamintraining.org/los or call us at (310) 216-7600.
Come to kick-off ... bring your friends and make some new ones!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

It is done

At 6:45 p.m. this evening I finished the 7th Harry Potter book.

I must find a new quest tomorrow.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

12:06 AM


The exact time I became the proud owner of the final Harry Potter book.



Cousin Stephanie was two minutes behind me. She wasn't fast enough in the conga line. I will explain more later...have much book to read!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Media Black Out

There's just too many chances for me to read Harry Potter spoilers on the web. Therefore, I am going off-line until I've read Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows in its entirety.

Goodbye Dear Blog.

I'll probably chat with you again on Monday- unless the grief of the end of the series sends me into a deep, deep depression.

Then I'll chat with you on Tuesday.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Wish Me Luck!

YOU'VE WON 1 SPOT IN THE CONWAY AND WHITMAN POKER TOURNEY!

5TH ANNUAL NO LIMIT TEXAS HOLD'EM TOURNEY WITH $6000 IN PRIZES

THURSDAY, JULY 19TH, 2007

AT COMMERCE CASINO

6131 EAST TELEGRAPH RD

COMMERCE, CA 90040

(323) 721-2100

http://commercecasino.com/

CHECK IN STARTS AT 6 PM

MUST BE THERE BY 7 PM

POKER TOURNEY STARTS AT 8 PM

CHECK IN ON THE 2ND FLOOR IN THE SKY ROOM. FOLLOW SIGNS TO THE SKY ROOM

YOUR NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE PLAYER LIST AT THE CHECK-IN TABLE

****MUST BE 21 YEARS OR OLDER, NAME MUST BE ON LIST, NO NAME SUBSTITUTIONS, MUST PRESENT VALID IDENTIFICATION TO CHECK IN****

Monday, July 16, 2007

I didn't write it, but I'm reposting it

My buddy Dennis is old-school. He still passes along forwarded e-mails. I refuse to do it, but I read them every once in a while. This one was funny enough I thought I'd post it here for the one dude who reads this blog.

Enjoy!


A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her

faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that he'slost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Vacation

I just returned from four days on Lake Mohave with Boyfriend, Boyfriend’s family and tons of their friends. They’d rented several houseboats which they tied up in a large cove that had a nice, long beach.

It’s been more than 20 years since I’d been camping/boating/peeing in large bodies of water. I went four days without bathing! I’ve never gone four days without bathing.


And I wore a swimsuit. And shorts. And tank tops.


Even though I was on vacation, I was awake by 7 every morning. We had cocktail hour every night. But time didn’t exist on the river, ‘cause it didn’t matter. We didn’t have to be anywhere at a specific time, but if you wanted to ski you had to be out pretty early to get the water when it was calm.


I didn’t ski.


And even though I spent the days swimming, reading, napping and generally laying around, the time went super-fast. It was an actual, proper vacation. If I were at home I would have spent the four days cleaning, or futzing around my condo- and worried that I wasn’t taking advantage of the time I had off.


I had a great time, but I was very glad to get back to my own bed and my own shower. I’ve taken three showers since I got home at 10:30 last night.


And I didn’t get sunburned!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Answer is: A tuna sandwich and a pound of chocolate covered pretzels

The question: What does a girl eat the night before she has to run around in a swimsuit in front of her boyfriend's family?

'Cause I figure that food won't show up on my ass for a couple days. It's really that damned torta sandwich from Baja Fresh I had Monday night that I have to be worried about.

Or maybe I'll just get really drunk before I have to put the suit on...but then I guess mixing alcohol with swimming isn't a good idea.

Or maybe still I'll just 'accidentally' leave my swimsuit at home.

Monday, July 09, 2007

What's the Worst that Could Happen?

What's the worst that could happen if I go next door, knock on my neighbor's screen door and ask to play Guitar Hero II with him?

  • He'd think I was hitting on him.
  • He'd think I was hitting on him and I'd end up having to fend him off all night.
  • He'd think I was hitting on him and I'd end up having to pull my gun on him.
  • He'd think I was hitting on him and he'd add me to his collection of women in the pit.
  • He'd think I was hitting on him and he'd tell me, that while flattered, he prefers women with smaller heads. Then every time I'd see him he'd give me that look like "yeah I know you want me." And I'll need to scream, "no, I just really wanted to play GnR on Guitar Hero you nasty pile of crap." But I won't 'cause, what would it matter- he'll think it's just sour grapes.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Why don't you go Google yourself???

Yeah I Google myself. Not a lot, but when I'm really bored, or when there's a commercial during Family Guy, I'll do it.

Interesting bits I found:






That's enough screwing around for the evening...





Saturday, July 07, 2007

Things I learned on my summer vacation

On the trip to Iowa I discovered a couple things...one of the most interesting is that my head is freakin' ginormous. I didn't realize it until I took this photo of me and the future Mr. Leana Benson at LAX.


After this photo, I decided that Ethan would take the photos and I would stand behind him-giving the illusion that my head was, at least, the same size as his.




See! I'm brilliant.




Other things Discovered:

Ethan’s a much better photographer.



But he doesn't seem to like the Iowa humidity.


But I'm a better drunk.




Observe- the eyes of a sober bridesmaid.


Yep, on the trip to Iowa I discovered a couple things...but the most important was that I have somehow managed to find the most amazing man and that the last seven months are only the beginning- and that I'm going to spend the rest of my life making him happy.

It was a good trip.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Douche of the Week!

This week's Douche of the Week award goes to my neighbor, who drives this car.


My hope is that she won it through some movie promotion or from buying a bunch of that insulation..or perhaps she lost a dare.


Because I really don’t think I could handle knowing that she went out searching for a pink car on which to “trick out” in salute to the Pink Panther.

But I'm sure it's the latter.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy Independance Day!

I'm celebrating my independence by doing laundry and cleaning up my kick-ass bachelorette pad. I guess I’m a slave to cleaning.

Last night Cousin Stephanie and I met up at Curley's in Signal Hill to see a banjo and sousaphone band. Yes, I said banjo and sousaphone. We’d actually seen them before a couple years ago and apparently Cousin Stephanie has been following them around ever since…from coffee shop to diner- like the Grateful Dead.


They played a lot of patriotic songs- all from long before my grandparents were born. The median age of the audience was 75- before Stephanie and I showed up to mess up the curve.

They serve food. Stephanie had eggs and I had a sundae. Apparently Stephanie also had butter stew-served in an English muffin container- check it out.
I highly recommend seeing this band. They'll be back on the 11th! Stay away from the butter stew.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I'm baaaaack...

I have ever so many stories to share with you, dear Blog! Iowa was great, spending time with my boyfriend was beyond awesome and my friend's wedding was a blast.

I am too busy catching up on e-mails and phone calls and laundry and sleep to go into details just now. Rest assured that I will be back to posting soon.