I'm in Love!

I swear, if this fuckin' (yeah I said fuckin') escrow ever closes I'm getting a weiner dog. And his name is Mouse!

Name: Mouse
Age: 10 years
Color: Red & White
Coat: Smooth
Sex: Male/Neutered
Size: Mini – 7.5 lbs.

Mouse is very tiny and adorable. His former owner passed away and the family promptly dumped him in Bakersfield shelter to be euthanized. We wouldn’t hear of it! We saved the little Mouseman before anything bad could happen to him. Mouse is a Dachshund/Norwich Terrier mix.

Mouse is a very sweet, starved for affection, little guy. He has spent most of his life outdoors in a doghouse. Therefore, he wasn't housebroken when he came into Rescue, but we have succeeded in crate training him and he goes outside to potty several times a day. He has been very cooperative in his training so far. He was a bit arthritic when he came to us, but dietary supplements and a very healthy, age-appropriate diet have made a big difference in his mobility. He scampers when outdoors, and his tail is always wagging. He's a happy camper.

We are looking for a loving, compassionate person who is willing to continue to reinforce his newly acquired house training skills. Mouse will do fine in a home where no one is home for 6 to 8 hours a day as long as he is confined to the kitchen with his little dog bed and soft blanket. Mouse sleeps when there is nothing going on of interest. He likes soft music or a television playing in the background. We take Mouse outside to potty a few times a day and he doesn’t waste any time. He does his business right away so he can get back to that nice warm blanket and soft bed. He loves going for leisurely walks, but rides in the car make him a bit nervous. Perhaps because nothing good ever came from going for a ride.

Mouse is delicate and children can injure him easily, but he would do fine in an adults-only home with visiting children 6 years old and up. He is safe with cats. He is more interested in people and any available lap he can snuggle in. He loves to be picked up and carried around. He is the perfect dog for a retired person with a leisurely lifestyle. He is light as a feather.

Mouse recently has had a complete dental and all his vaccinations brought up-to-date. He is ready for a new home and has lots of love to give the person who is lucky enough to adopt him. If you have a soft spot in your heart for the seniors, you’ll love our little Mouse.

The View from My Office

So Friday morning I'm sitting at my desk typing away and in comes a fireman followed by our HR guy. He walks right up to us and I have to do a quck, mental check of any fires I may have forgotten about starting. Arson isn't my M.O. though.

He asks if any of us have smelled anything or felt sick. He explains that they had to evacuate the ground floor due to some toxic fumes.* (My office is on the fourth floor.)

None of us had noticed any smells and I didn't feel any worse than I normally did-sitting in my cage waiting for them to unlock the gate and let me fly away for the weekend.

The fireman starts to leave and I ask "so do we need to leave?" He looked at our HR guy and said, "Probably not,” then walked out.

Probably not? You evacuate an entire floor because of the toxic fumes but the rest of us can keep on typing? Nice. So in ten years when I end up giving birth to a 20lb tumor I can go back to this blog and remember where it was conceived.

*Apparently the cause of the fumes was the adhesive used to put the new tiles in the first floor bathrooms.

You Likey the Comedy?

My Bit of Paradise

So I'm in the kitchen this afternoon, around 4 pm. I'm buttering a piece of French bread and the boyfriend asks from over his computer monitor, "You're having a piece of bread?"

So I respond, "yes."

And he follows up with, "Are you going to be hungry for dinner?"

And I counter with, "Who are you, my mother?"

Now I have to go and wash behind my ears and clean up my room before the show tonight..or no dessert!

I've Been Waiting for this Day Since Last Friday

Could the Entire World Have Been Wrong?

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Tales from Venice Blvd.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring.

Leana: Yello!

Friend: Hey Leana, wanna go walk around by the construction site and tempt the hard working construction workers?

Leana: No-can-do Friend, I’m just getting reading to walk down the street to the 99cent Store.

Friend: The 99cent store? Walk? You live close enough to a 99cent store that you can actually walk?

Leana: Yep, It’s just about five blocks down and one over. I can get there and back in 15 minutes…if you don’t count the 2 hours I spend searching for the treasures that are buried deep within the isles of the 99cent store.

Friend: Gawd, you are so lucky. I have to get into my car and drive nearly a mile to my nearest 99cent store.

Leana: I pity you.

Friend: I pity me too.

Leana: Well off to the 99cent store. I’m feeling saucy; I think I’ll break a five.

Click

Stories from the Eye Doctor

There was this old, old, old lady at the eye doctor today. She was all gray-haired with big glasses and huge gangly earrings and a green floral muumuu. She was complaining about the temperature and how long it was taking the doctor to see her and the price of tea in China. The other people in the waiting room, and the receptionist, were all shaking their heads and saying stuff like “that sassy, old woman,” and “she’s a scream!”

I thought, ‘When do I get to be old enough that I can be a total bitch in public and nobody comes up and kicks me in the gut? When do I get to wear a shapeless muumuu and comfortable shoes? When do I get to gain 300 lbs?”

My working estimate…in another 6 months!

Four-Eyes

At the urging of my boyfriend, I made an eye appointment. It’s been about a year since I was there and apparently he believes I’m legally blind. Just ‘cause I can’t see the stupid streets signs two blocks away. I say, if he doesn’t like the way I drive, he should drive! Right?

So I went to my eye doctor and he told me that my prescription is actually TOO strong. Whaaaa? I don’t know what to think of this eye doctor. He’s only two years older than me and he called me “dude.” I think he wanted to ask for my MySpace address.

And just to get the lenses replaced in my year-old glasses will cost $120. What a rip off.

I guess if my escrow closes sometime in the next 20 years I’ll be able to get them.

This is NOT a Good Representation of an Iowan

My favorite line from this article was, "I mean it's not like he beat me up. There were no bruises or blood or anything. I'm just not going to see him again."

Up in Smoke

Apparently my name is a brand of cigarettes in Moldova. Did you know in Moldova they speak Moldovan? The more you know…

I’m finally moving!

On Saturday we’re loading up the truck and moving up north! What a long, strange trip it’s been. And it’s not quite over - not until the buyers sign on the dotted line. (Knock on wood and keep fingers crossed and sprinkle holy water.)

But we’re moving anyway. Hopefully I won’t be paying rent on the new place AND a mortgage on an empty condo.

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. (Check out what time I’m posting this.) I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border…oh wait, I’m quoting Morgan Freeman from Shawshank Redemption. But I totally feel that way….no not like an old, black man jumpin’ parole, but I do feel like I’m starting a new journey.

The move is just the first step. I’ve been talking about taking it for a long time, but talking doesn’t move you ahead it just makes you spin in circles. I’m tired, and dizzy from it all. I just want to get moved and work on taking that second step. And whether it takes me a week or a month or a year, at least I’ve made that first step so that the second step is even possible.

To Those Not in Cali

Is the Mel Gibson story as big of news everywhere else as it is here???