Outbreak 2: Electric Boogaloo

Smell ya later creepy little monkey, here come da bats!

All I Want for Christmas

I've just been asked what I want for Christmas. For the first time in recent history I am at a loss for words.

I seriously can't think of anything that I really want for Christmas. Sure there's stuff I need, but most anything I can get myself. And Christmas isn't for asking for tube socks and new blinds for the bedroom. It's supposed to be for fun stuff, like jewelry and meth.

Oh, and it's also to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus.

But it's also to get stuff. I just have to figure out what it is I want. Then get that information out to the masses.

Hello, I'm Bill Clinton

What Famous Leader Are You?
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A Reason to Give Thanks

The Stupidest Contest Ever

If you want, you can register to win a free trip for you and a guest to Costa Rica…and take along the MTV Real World Austin cast member of your choice!

I am not shitting you. 97.1 The “Free” talk station is running this contest. How awkward would those 12 days be?

Upon first meeting: “So you were on the Real World…how does it feel to be a complete and utter tool?” Then it would be all weird the rest of the trip. Like when you passed one another on the beach, sat next to one another on the jungle safari or when you’re all kidnapped by a drug cartel... or whatever happens to Americans that go to Costa Rica.

But if you want to enter, be my guest! If you win drop me a line and let me know how it went. Oh and pick the cute guy from Boston, I think he’s probably pretty easy to get into the sack.

Time Keeps on Tickin'

Why am I awake at 4:30 in the morning???

Leana the Outbreak Monkey

Went to see HP4 last night (Harry Potter 4: The Goblet of Fire to those who aren’t hip to the lingo).

When I bought the tickets online my cousins were both cool to going to the 11 pm show at the IMAX theater in Santa Monica. The 8 o’clock had already been sold out (and this was three weeks out). Crazy. Apparently between then and last night my cousins aged 50 years and decided that it was just too late to go to the movies. When HP5 comes out we’re going to go to the Sunday Matinee and suck on hard candy and spend the whole movie pulling up our support hose. (just kidding ladies!)

Getting old sucks.

I was deathly ill. I’ve had this weird cold/flu thing all week that finally culminated Thursday night into a full frontal assault on my body. Friday morning I couldn’t even move. I slept about 13 hours, woke up and dragged my ass to the theater. I was not going to miss HP4. Plus I had bought the tickets so I had to be there to pick them up for the group.

So armed with a purse full of tissue and full of Tylenol Cold tablets I made it to the theater. I felt like Patrick Dempsey in Outbreak. Like every time I exhaled I was infecting another person in the theater. That made me feel a bit better.

The movie was awesome. They managed to condense a 1500 page book into 2 ½ hours. Not bad. Ralph Fiennes plays Voldemort. It looks like he was just reprising his role in Red Dragon. Creepy fucker. How does he get away with playing leading men/love interest? He’s so creepy.

And they totally set up the movie for another sequel. ;) I really need to get to reading the most recent book. Or maybe I’ll just take some more Tylenol and go to bed. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

These Are The Days I Wish I Played for Real Money

Two Thumbs Up

The Sarah Silverman movie, “Jesus is Magic” was playing in limited release Friday night. Extremely limited, as it was only playing at the NuArt in Los Angeles and the University 6 in Irvine.

I thought we could try to make the 8 o’clock show in Irvine but that by the time we got down there it would probably be sold out and we’d have to wait for the 10 p.m. show.

Boy was I wrong.

Not only was it not sold out, there were seats on either side of us. My only conclusion: Orange County is even squarer than I thought!

The movie was great. It was hilarious. I highly recommend everyone go out at see it, once it comes out in general release…whenever that will be. It’s not even rated, but I have a feeling that once it is, it will get something like an NC-“If you let you underage children see this movie you should be beat down.”

My boyfriend and I each picked out a couple we thought would walk out sometime during the movie, realizing that “Jesus is Magic” is not a sequel to “Passion of the Christ.” We both picked elderly couples. We were both wrong. The old people ate that shit up. They were laughing louder than we were.

The only people who left the theater during the movie were a guy who looked in his mid 40s and his teenage daughter. I know exactly what line drove them out too. It was Sarah saying this: “God please let them find seaman in my dead grandmother’s vagina.”

It’s that kind of movie.

Call off the Dogs

I've been reunited with my cell phone. And it feels so good.

Hours after deactivating it Saturday morning I found it, nestled in the back seat of my car, like a little silver baby. I'm so annoyed 'cause I searched that damn car. I think someone stole it from my office and planted it in my back seat just to mess with me. People can be so cruel.

The Doctors Were Right

Lost: One Cell Phone

I've "misplaced" my cell phone. It's either somewhere around the vicinity of my desk at work, or it's been sucked into the bowels of my condo.

Either way I will be unavailable via the telephone this weekend. So if you need to reach me, try the good ol-e-mail.

I can't believe I lost my cell phone. So mad at myself.

The Key To People Reading Your Blog

Keep it short and pithy!