We Meet Again Mr.Bond
I have an archnemesis…not even 30 and I have a nemesis. You know, all the great ones had nemeses, or is it nemesi? Mozart had Salieri, Alexander Hamilton had Aaron Burr, Scarlett O’Hara had Melanie Hamilton (no relation I’m sure), Kirk had Khan, Snoopy had the Red Barron…the list goes on and on. I have That Girl! I best not give out her name, as the comedy world is small and I wouldn’t want this to get back to her. I’m sure she has no idea who I am, but I know her, oh yes, I know her.
The two of us seem to have parallel lives, except where she’s really successful and I’m just talking about it on my web log. We both went to the same college. She was a few years behind me but that didn’t stop her. We lived in the same dorm, both rushed sororities, both majored in journalism, both wrote for the same college paper. But she always seemed to do it a little bit better somehow. While I had a bi-weekly column, she was an editor, while I tried out for the popular improv group on campus; she actually became a member (although strangely enough, if you go into the improv group’s archives, it lists me as an alum which isn’t at all correct).
I hadn’t really thought much about her since I moved to Los Angeles to seek my fame and fortune. That is until I bumped into her while taking improv classes at the VERY FAMOUS Improv Company*, where I was deep in second level “This is intermediate!” She was also taking classes. I don’t think she remembered me…but I remembered her…oh yes I remembered her…
It wasn’t long after that, that I dropped second level “this is bullshit, cliquey assholes that would as soon step over my bleeding corpse than say hello!” I gave up the world of improv for the singular spotlight of stand up. I hadn’t given That Girl! a single thought until I happened, last night, upon the VERY FAMOUS Improv Company’s website. I went through the list of members and who the hell did I see pictured in the main company??? That Girl! Right there. Out of all the people to climb through the forty levels of classes, the dozens of writing labs, the three year waiting lists, the rickety rope bridge suspended over the rushing molten lava 100 feet down, she had made it. My brilliantly hilarious friends Scott and Renee weren’t able to make it through all that crap and she had. HER. My nemesis.
I bow to her. She has the one up on me. For now. But this has rekindled the fires within me; it has awakened the sleeping giant, so to speak. Where she has succeeded in improv I will exceed in stand up comedy. Where she performs for free every Sunday, I will perform every night. My success will soon shadow hers to such an extent that she will slowly go mad with the constant questions from eager fans asking her if she really DID know Leana Benson and if she could get them an autograph.
*Name of the VERY FAMOUS Improv Company withheld due to fear of retribution. I have the name of the company sealed in an envelope and stored in a safety deposit box in the event of my career being killed.
The two of us seem to have parallel lives, except where she’s really successful and I’m just talking about it on my web log. We both went to the same college. She was a few years behind me but that didn’t stop her. We lived in the same dorm, both rushed sororities, both majored in journalism, both wrote for the same college paper. But she always seemed to do it a little bit better somehow. While I had a bi-weekly column, she was an editor, while I tried out for the popular improv group on campus; she actually became a member (although strangely enough, if you go into the improv group’s archives, it lists me as an alum which isn’t at all correct).
I hadn’t really thought much about her since I moved to Los Angeles to seek my fame and fortune. That is until I bumped into her while taking improv classes at the VERY FAMOUS Improv Company*, where I was deep in second level “This is intermediate!” She was also taking classes. I don’t think she remembered me…but I remembered her…oh yes I remembered her…
It wasn’t long after that, that I dropped second level “this is bullshit, cliquey assholes that would as soon step over my bleeding corpse than say hello!” I gave up the world of improv for the singular spotlight of stand up. I hadn’t given That Girl! a single thought until I happened, last night, upon the VERY FAMOUS Improv Company’s website. I went through the list of members and who the hell did I see pictured in the main company??? That Girl! Right there. Out of all the people to climb through the forty levels of classes, the dozens of writing labs, the three year waiting lists, the rickety rope bridge suspended over the rushing molten lava 100 feet down, she had made it. My brilliantly hilarious friends Scott and Renee weren’t able to make it through all that crap and she had. HER. My nemesis.
I bow to her. She has the one up on me. For now. But this has rekindled the fires within me; it has awakened the sleeping giant, so to speak. Where she has succeeded in improv I will exceed in stand up comedy. Where she performs for free every Sunday, I will perform every night. My success will soon shadow hers to such an extent that she will slowly go mad with the constant questions from eager fans asking her if she really DID know Leana Benson and if she could get them an autograph.
*Name of the VERY FAMOUS Improv Company withheld due to fear of retribution. I have the name of the company sealed in an envelope and stored in a safety deposit box in the event of my career being killed.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home