Going Down the River
So apparently to do well in the Bicycle Club’s women’s poker tournament you have to be either a raging, old, sexless, bitch hag or a butch lesbian. While neither group is mutual exclusive, I’m sure there were several raging old, sexless, bitch, butch, lesbians, the majority were just bitches. Although, I must note, there were enough lesbians there to have a Margaret Cho concert. The lesbians were at least cordial. Several of them took a shining to me and my kicky and fun Mickey Mouse t-shirt.
But the bitches were out in mass today. I can just image their poor, pathetic husbands at home, who are just glad to be free from the beasts, if only for a few hours. I couldn't believe all the sniping and arguing. And that was just in the line for the bathroom!
It was not my greatest tournament showing. I didn’t play enough hands and I threw away playable hands just ‘cause I didn’t want to get into a tussle with some of the other gals. There was one chick (who I think used to be a dude, even though she swore she had a husband) who kept saying she had to leave so she’d play ANY freakin’ hand. It was obnoxious.
I think my downfall was when the blinds were 50/100 and I got pocket 8s. A totally playable hand, yet I threw it away when it was raised and reraised before me. The flop came 8s Kh 2c. I wanted to shoot myself. Then the turn was a 5d and the river…another FREAKIN’ 8. I would have had four of a kind. Why do I suck??? I totally disintegrated and kicked myself the rest of the tournament. I think my grandkids will be pissed about that hand 60 years from now.
I got taken out holding Jacks. The river had two 10s and one of the other ladies had a 10 in her hand. Grumble, grumble. Plus I think the lady was one of those sexless hag bitches.
I did manage to take out two other people before I died (one bitch and one lesbian) and I got $5 for each of them. So that cut the cost of the entry fee. And I had fun, except for the raging old sexless bitch hags. But I gave each of them the evil eye before I left. That will teach them.
But the bitches were out in mass today. I can just image their poor, pathetic husbands at home, who are just glad to be free from the beasts, if only for a few hours. I couldn't believe all the sniping and arguing. And that was just in the line for the bathroom!
It was not my greatest tournament showing. I didn’t play enough hands and I threw away playable hands just ‘cause I didn’t want to get into a tussle with some of the other gals. There was one chick (who I think used to be a dude, even though she swore she had a husband) who kept saying she had to leave so she’d play ANY freakin’ hand. It was obnoxious.
I think my downfall was when the blinds were 50/100 and I got pocket 8s. A totally playable hand, yet I threw it away when it was raised and reraised before me. The flop came 8s Kh 2c. I wanted to shoot myself. Then the turn was a 5d and the river…another FREAKIN’ 8. I would have had four of a kind. Why do I suck??? I totally disintegrated and kicked myself the rest of the tournament. I think my grandkids will be pissed about that hand 60 years from now.
I got taken out holding Jacks. The river had two 10s and one of the other ladies had a 10 in her hand. Grumble, grumble. Plus I think the lady was one of those sexless hag bitches.
I did manage to take out two other people before I died (one bitch and one lesbian) and I got $5 for each of them. So that cut the cost of the entry fee. And I had fun, except for the raging old sexless bitch hags. But I gave each of them the evil eye before I left. That will teach them.
1 Comments:
At 8:29 AM,
SeriouslyNoWay said…
No one can be that lucky all the time. Maybe you should take that as a sign: Crusty old broads + poker = bad Leana luck
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