It Could Happen...It Could. What? Shut Up!

I really hope Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo can hold out a couple more years ‘til I’m famous. All the celebrities on that show seem to have such a good time and I know I would do well, ‘cause as you know, I have played poker once or twice before.

Plus I just know that I will charm the pants off one Mr. Phil Gordon. So much so that he will, of course, want to take me out to dinner after the show, to celebrate my victory as well as give me tips on how to prepare for the finals, up against the likes of Ben Affleck, Brad Garrett and Bobby Sherman (What? It could happen!)

Thus we’ll begin our steamy, secret affair, until after I’ve won the Celebrity Poker Showdown finals and we can officially declare our love for one another. After a year or two we’ll get married and have babies that can be raised by our elderly and unattractive nanny while I work on my award-winning sitcom or popular talk show and Phil writes his gazillionzth book on poker and a best-seller on how to satisfy a famous stand up comedienne every night in the sack.