Apartment Hunting Blows

Here’s a couple things I’ve learned in my search:

• The word ‘cozy’ means that the apartment is smaller than one of those jail cells in The Shawshank Redemption.
• A “junior one bedroom” is just another word for studio with a nook that’s not even large enough to turn around in, but at least it’s not a studio, right?
• Westside Rentals isn’t fooling anyone with their vague "for rent" postings on Craig’s List. WE KNOW IT’S YOU!
• Hardwood floors are aparently a luxury item. I prefer carpet myself.
• If air conditioning isn’t mentioned in the listing keep looking. A/C is not a luxury item in So Cal-it’s a necessity.
• While on the subject of A/C, the phrase “Has air conditioner” and “has air conditioning” are two very different things….very important things.
• One more thing about that; "Bright and airy" means "no A/C."
• Some landlords act like they are really sweeting the pot by offering to pay for water and trash pick up. But, I'm pretty sure it's a state law.
• There is no such thing as “ample” or “easy” streetparking in LA. It’s all lies!