Leana's Comedy Blog Etc...

The continuing saga of a single, burgeoning stand-up comedienne/wanna-be poker ingénue/bitter corporate drone/closet hermit/hapless homeowner…living in L.A.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I'll Bring the Marshmallows!

I truly believe there is a special room in hell for people who do horrible things to animals and children. It’s not just the normal Bible fare with the fire and the brimstone and the pain, it’s much worse.

It includes beatings, wedges and salt in wounds. It includes broken bones allowed to heal incorrectly. It includes never ending Charlie-horses. It includes leg hair being pulled out with rusty tweezers. It includes a room full of televisions blaring Andie McDowell movies twenty-four hours a day at full volume. The only thing that allows me to have any peace after reading a story like this is that this puke is going to have to be held accountable, if not in this life, than in the next, for what he’s done.

Don't get me wrong, if I meet the scum before he makes it to the next life, I'll be more than happy to get started with the broken bones and leg pulling and Andie McDowell movie marathon watching.

3 Comments:

  • At 10:53 PM, Blogger SeriouslyNoWay said…

    Perhaps his hell can be to watch Lifetime movies with no breaks for eternity, his eyes held open ala "Clockwork Orange." All kidding aside, I whole heartedly agree there must be special punishments God will mete out on the fuckers who hurt kids and animals.

     
  • At 9:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't wanna open up a whole box of worms but I think this just adds fuel to my theory that it is nigh to impossible for a person to reform, particularly from a violent crime. All the chants, chips and aversion in the world will not keep a person from revisiting their weakness at some point. Life is a slippery slope my friend.

     
  • At 4:54 PM, Blogger SeriouslyNoWay said…

    Ruby has a very good point.

     

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