Me in the Middle

This weekend Neighbor to the North was putting the finishing touches on the repelling rock wall he’s apparently putting up in his bedroom. I could hear him and his equally creepy brother talking and hammering and clearing two years’ worth of phlegm out of their throats. At least they waited ‘til 7 a.m. both days to start. That was considerate of them.

I never hear Neighbors to the South, and they have a brand-new baby. Like just out of the oven, fresh baby. I think it still has the tags on it. I have not heard that baby cry once, yet I’ve heard my other neighbor dropping (what sounds like) his marble collection into a tin can at three in the morning.

Last night as I was singing Stairway to Heaven in the shower- complete with new lyrics featuring my cat roommate Willow- I realized that if I could hear Lotion-in-the Basket guy in his place, there was a good chance he could hear me vocally raping Led Zeppelin songs.

So I sang louder.