Dear Anonymous Benefactor,

So I know you are out there, just waiting to do something utterly unselfish for me. I know how it must trouble you so to think you can’t do anything to make me smile, I can feel your anguish.

But there IS something you can do for me, sweet, sweet Benefactor. Get me that fuckin'awesomely gorgeous bedding from Restoration Hardware.

It’s nothing I could allow myself to buy. I would feel guilty just pulling the $250 duvet cover over my head each night. I wouldn’t be able to even lay my head upon the $80 sateen pillow cases or enjoy a glass of cherry kool-aid while nestled between the two fluffy, down-filled $90 pillows

But if you were to buy it for me, I could enjoy sliding between the Italian-framed sateen sheets that costs the same as my monthly student loan payment. I would spend all day watching the clock ‘til it was a socially appropriate, non-geezerly time to go to bed each night.

And I would allow you to do this for me Wonderful, Anonymous Benefactor. It would be the least I could do to make you happy.

Please let me know if there is anything else you’d like to buy me as well. No gift is too extravagant or expensive. If it makes you happy.

Sincerely,

Leana a.k.a Your Pip