The Walls Have Eyes

Ants! I have freakin' ants. I'm so grossed out.

I'd seen a couple stray ants dancin' around my bathroom sink. I made short work of them when I saw them, and last weekend cleaned the hell out of the bathroom and sprayed Comet in all the corners. ( I heard it works)

But tonight I'm in the kitchen heating up my Lean Cuisine and I happen to notice an ant by the sink. That's when I saw them-swarming all over my cupboard. I screamed like a little girl. Luckily the boyfriend has had some history with ants and killed them all with Windex. Did you know that Windex kills ants? I guess it makes sense, it's what Merv Griffin used to kill all those whores in "The Man With Two Brains."

We figured out that the ants must be coming in from the neighbor's place. That guy is so gross; he just looks like someone whose kitchen was a safe haven for ants...if you know what I mean and I think you do.

I think we got all of them. I set out four ant traps and I plan to go back to the 99cent store for reinforcements. I will not have ants in my house. You hear me ants? Fuck off!!!