Pocket Rockets: Ace & Ace

I’m a bit late in my Poker Round Up. I participated in the Queen of Clubs tournament at the Bicycle Casino on Sunday. Going in I was pretty confident. I’ve been playing some pretty solid poker with my club (what up, Long Beach Poker Club???) and I was ready. As you know I’m more comfortable with limit hold’em, but no-limit seems to be the game of choice in these tournaments, so as President Lincoln always said, “Whatever.”

There were so many women registered for this tournament that they had to set up extra tables up and down the hallways of the casino. I ended up in an outer room, in the first position at the table (my favorite).

As in the last poker tournament, I noticed the ratio of straight to gay women was about 20-80, with the bulk of the latter being the dikiest dikes who’ve ever diked. I made sure to look as girly as possible to differentiate myself among the gay women and the GAY women.

A few hands of note:

• Very second hand of the tournament I fold 3/7 off suit. Then the flop came 4, 5, 6 rainbow. What the hell? I would have flopped a straight. But who would keep that hand? Only a person in the blinds, that’s who.
• Got pocket jacks. Play the raising game with a chick in seat 8 who was obviously smuggling midgets in her too-tight argyle sweater. The flop was all rags, as was Fourth Street and the River. I turned over my jacks and she mucked her cards. I left her with about $200 and a very valuable lesson. Leana don’t fuck around. Cha-ching.
• I knocked out the chick to my left. I felt kind of bad, as she was really nice to me. But you know what they say about poker “a stitch in time, saves nine.” She was short stacked in the big blind and I had A/K. in the small blind. It was folded all the way around to me and it was an easy call to make. She turned over A/9 and my hand held up.
• I got pocket Qs and raised too much. I scared everyone out of the hand. Pussies.
  
  

Our table got broken down and I got moved to a new table. This table was much rowdier. As the story goes, before I got there, the lady to my right busted out a chick who had a full house queens and 10s with her quad 10s. I’m sure many songs will be written about her.

I was in the 8th position and I had to nearly stand up to see any flop. Of course none of my hands were very interesting and the woman in seat 3 would raise any hand she was in so I couldn’t see a cheap flop if I tried. I got down to about $6,000 and was getting punchy. I went all-in with Q/J off suit after seeing a Q on the flop. Miss Raises-with-every-damn-hand called me and showed Q/A. I thought for sure my tournament career was over, but a Jack came on the river to save me.

Of course there were several other ladies at the table who had the same kind of luck as I had and with the blinds going up and having to ante in $50 before I even saw a card, it was getting pretty bleak. I was finally forced to go all in when the blinds were up to $300/600 and I only had $400 left. This is always where I would usually say I don’t play aggressive enough. But I truly think I played some quality poker. I just think there were about 68 better players there that day then me.

I was able to knock out two players so I made $5 off each of them. Not enough to cover my buy-in like last time, but I wasn’t too disappointed.

But I’m seriously burned out again on the poker. This is probably why they only have these ladies tournaments every three months. My club is having a game this weekend and I don’t even know if I feel like participating. I think I’ll go back to staring at the wall on Sunday afternoons. It’s a little more my speed right now.