Iowa 101
My fabulously awesome boyfriend has agreed to accompany me back to Iowa this June for my friend Meg's wedding.
I think if you asked Ethan a year ago what state he would never, ever in a million years, even if he had a gun to his head or was dared by his friends visit, he probably wouldn't have even come up with Iowa. I don't think he'd even thought of the state until he met me.
But now he's going to be there, and to help him prepare, I filled out this survey I found on MySpace.
This trip will either dispel all the stereotypes he has of Iowa or confirm them.
01. What town are you from?
Madrid
02. Was yours a consolidated school? (AGWSR, BCLUW, ADM, etc.)
No, they've threatened it for years, but it's never happened!
03. How many people did you graduate with?
27...I’m not counting the three girls that dropped out ‘cause they were ‘in the family way.’
04. Did you grow up on a farm?
no- not EVERYONE in Iowa lives on a farm
05. How close are your closest neighbors?
About 20 feet away.
06. Do you know what is so cool about Brandon, Iowa?
It’s got a wiener?
07. Do you buy ethanol gas?
Everyone should
08. What's your favorite ride at Adventureland?
The Tornado!
09. Hawks or Clones?
I have to go for the Clones, otherwise they’ll take away my diploma
10. Have you ever been to Living History Farms?
On field trips
11. Did you ever go to the Herbert Hoover museum?
No, but for some reason we went to the Mamie Doud Eisenhower
home in Boone.
12. Who is Nile Kinnick?
Must be the dude they named the Hawk’s stadium after.
13. Did you ever get out of school because of the temperature?
Only when the freezing rain started
14. Have you ever been to the Field of Dreams?
Nope. I haven't even seen the movie...or read the book...or the play.
15. Have you ever seen the Bridges of Madison County?
Yeah, I had to take pictures of them when I worked with the Dept. of Transportation.
16. Have you driven down Snake Alley?
Is that anywhere near Diagon Alley where Harry Potter hangs out?
17. What is your favorite lake?
Clear Lake (FYI Clear Lake killed Buddy Holly)
18. What's your favorite "fair food"?
Funnel cake
19. What is your favorite Iowa Attraction?
Prairie Meadows Race Track and Casino
20. Do you know where the Swartzendrubers live?
Probably hiding in shame with a last name like that.
21. Do you know all the counties that border your hometown?
Polk, Dallas, Story
22. What is your favorite Iowa festival?
Does RAGBAI count? I say, yes.
23. What is a Runza?
Some kind of running event?
24. What do you call your carbonated beverages?
I’ve finally been broke of calling it pop. It’s soda now.
25. What do the numbers 180, 280, and 380 mean?
interstates
26. Have you ever detassled for a summer job?
My parents wouldn’t let me.
27. Do you even know what detassling is?
of course. It’s where you separate the weeds away from the beans.
28. Can you tell the difference between hogs and cattle?
I don’t think you really have to be from Iowa to know that.
29. How about just by their smell?
It’s all shit
30. And finally... why do trees in Iowa lean towards Nebraska?
Is that a set up to a joke? Pretty weak.
I think if you asked Ethan a year ago what state he would never, ever in a million years, even if he had a gun to his head or was dared by his friends visit, he probably wouldn't have even come up with Iowa. I don't think he'd even thought of the state until he met me.
But now he's going to be there, and to help him prepare, I filled out this survey I found on MySpace.
This trip will either dispel all the stereotypes he has of Iowa or confirm them.
01. What town are you from?
Madrid
02. Was yours a consolidated school? (AGWSR, BCLUW, ADM, etc.)
No, they've threatened it for years, but it's never happened!
03. How many people did you graduate with?
27...I’m not counting the three girls that dropped out ‘cause they were ‘in the family way.’
04. Did you grow up on a farm?
no- not EVERYONE in Iowa lives on a farm
05. How close are your closest neighbors?
About 20 feet away.
06. Do you know what is so cool about Brandon, Iowa?
It’s got a wiener?
07. Do you buy ethanol gas?
Everyone should
08. What's your favorite ride at Adventureland?
The Tornado!
09. Hawks or Clones?
I have to go for the Clones, otherwise they’ll take away my diploma
10. Have you ever been to Living History Farms?
On field trips
11. Did you ever go to the Herbert Hoover museum?
No, but for some reason we went to the Mamie Doud Eisenhower
home in Boone.
12. Who is Nile Kinnick?
Must be the dude they named the Hawk’s stadium after.
13. Did you ever get out of school because of the temperature?
Only when the freezing rain started
14. Have you ever been to the Field of Dreams?
Nope. I haven't even seen the movie...or read the book...or the play.
15. Have you ever seen the Bridges of Madison County?
Yeah, I had to take pictures of them when I worked with the Dept. of Transportation.
16. Have you driven down Snake Alley?
Is that anywhere near Diagon Alley where Harry Potter hangs out?
17. What is your favorite lake?
Clear Lake (FYI Clear Lake killed Buddy Holly)
18. What's your favorite "fair food"?
Funnel cake
19. What is your favorite Iowa Attraction?
Prairie Meadows Race Track and Casino
20. Do you know where the Swartzendrubers live?
Probably hiding in shame with a last name like that.
21. Do you know all the counties that border your hometown?
Polk, Dallas, Story
22. What is your favorite Iowa festival?
Does RAGBAI count? I say, yes.
23. What is a Runza?
Some kind of running event?
24. What do you call your carbonated beverages?
I’ve finally been broke of calling it pop. It’s soda now.
25. What do the numbers 180, 280, and 380 mean?
interstates
26. Have you ever detassled for a summer job?
My parents wouldn’t let me.
27. Do you even know what detassling is?
of course. It’s where you separate the weeds away from the beans.
28. Can you tell the difference between hogs and cattle?
I don’t think you really have to be from Iowa to know that.
29. How about just by their smell?
It’s all shit
30. And finally... why do trees in Iowa lean towards Nebraska?
Is that a set up to a joke? Pretty weak.
1 Comments:
At 7:38 PM,
SeriouslyNoWay said…
Please tell me you made a detassling joke. Please? Who comes from Iowa and doesn't know what detassling is?
Post a Comment
<< Home