I Jumped the Shark

Well, it only took 31 years, but I finally crossed the great divide between youth and adulthood. I didn’t feel it when I graduated college, when I first started contributing to my 401K or even when I bought my condo. But I felt it today. I yelled at some kids for playing.

I was walking out of my apartment to my car and there were some youths playing around the laundry room. A couple of the girls had locked themselves inside and wouldn’t allow the boy in. The boy turned to me and said “Ma’am, can you unlock the door?”

I think it was the fact that he called me ma’am that set me off. Or perhaps it was the thought of one of them breaking a washer or slipping and falling; or worse, one of them putting another in the dryer and setting it on high. Which would be totally awful, but kind of cool.

So instead of ignoring the kids or even unlocking the door I shook my head and say “no, you kids need to get out of there, that’s not a place to play.”

And they listened. They all walked out and I locked the door so they couldn’t get back in.

To wrap up: I’m officially old and it’s been confirmed by children who actually mind me. Part of me is severely depressed, but the other part of me feels extremely empowered.