Pack a Lunch, it's a Long Blog

alternate headline: Fun with hyperlinks!

This weekend was the beginning of my whirlwind May. Next weekend I have the second round of California’s Funniest Female and a mock half-marathon for my San Diego Rock–n-Roll marathon. The weekend after I’ll be down in San Diego meeting up with some of my sorority sistas. And over Memorial Day weekend I’m taking a road trip with Boyfriend. Or course, with gas prices the way they are, we might make it as far as Malibu and call it done.

Here’s how this weekend shook out.

Saturday:

7:00 am to 1:00 pm*: Met with my Team in Training group and walked 18 fuckin’ miles. Yeah I said fuckin’ and I meant it! I’ll say it again- fuckin’. My walking buddy Jeanne and I really dogged the last four miles too. Hence the reason it took us nearly 6 hours to walk it. It should probably only take us five. But you know what I have to say about that? Fuck it!

1:00 pm to 2:30 pm: Laid on my sofa staring at the wall. I didn’t even have the energy to take off my shoes.

2:30 pm to 3:00 pm: Ate a six-inch cold cut combo that I vaguely remember buying at Subway on my way home from training. I think that’s also where the chips came from. But nothing can explain the candy necklace I was wearing.

3:00 pm to 3:30 pm: Dropped off my rental car at Enterprise, picked up my car from the Saturn dealer and opened a vein to give the guy $625.40 for fixing some leaky thing that was causing my car to only run on 3 cylinders.

3:30 pm to 4:15 pm: Took the world’s longest shower. Did I mention that I managed to obtain a 3^rd degree sunburn on my 6 hour walk? Yeah that’s great.

4:15 pm. to 5:15 pm: Ran around getting ready to haul it up to Sherman Oaks to spend quality time with Boyfriend. Thought about 2,000 times “I used to live five minutes from his house when I lived in Studio City.” Then I cursed the sun and tried to find jeans that didn’t make me look like a soccer mom.

5:15 pm to 6:00 pm: Spent some quality time with the 710, 60, 5, 134 and 101 freeways.

6:00 pm to 7:00 pm: Laid on my boyfriend’s sofa staring at the wall. I didn’t even have the energy to take off my shoes.

7:00 pm to 8:30 pm: Spent a long time trying to figure out where to go for dinner. When we finally decided on a place and drove there, we couldn’t find parking. So we ended up just driving to a place we knew had off-street parking.

8:30 pm to 9:30 pm: Ate a turkey burger and fries. Listened to some pretentious LA douche bags (Ethan’s words) criticize tea.

9:30 pm to 8:00 am Sunday: Spent some quality time in Boyfriend’s awesome IKEA bed. That bed really knows how to treat a lady.

8:00 am to 10:00 am: Boyfriend didn’t want to make waffles for breakfast so we went to a place in Encino called “More Than Waffles,” and he ate a waffle.

10:00 am to 3:00 pm: Spent some serious time on the sofa with Boyfriend, being reminded why I’m the absolute luckiest and happiest girl in the world.

3:00 pm to 4:30 pm: Napped.

4:30 pm to 5:30 pm: Went to a middle eastern place and ate some chicken from a pita. Mmmmm…pita.

5:30 pm to 6:00 pm: Realized we had managed to spend 24-straight hours together without incident. Plans to test our luck with a weekend getaway in two weeks were discussed.

6:00 pm to 7:00 pm: Drove back to the LBC.

7:00 pm to 7:05 pm: Realized that I really, really needed a peanut butter Blizzard from Dairy Queen.

7:05 pm to 7:30 pm: Drove to the Lakewood Mall where I knew there was a Dairy Queen, only to discover that the stupid-ass mall closes at 7 on Sundays. Then realized that the only viable alternative to a peanut butter Blizzard was Ben and Jerry’s Peanut Butter cup ice cream.

7:30 pm to 8:00 pm: Went to Target for my B&J. Apparently they don’t carry Ben and Jerry’s, but they do carry Fruit of the Loom Hipster underwear, Cheer for dark colors, Aloe body wash and those Cool Max t-shirts (that will help me not burn next week hopefully).

8:00 pm to 8:15 pm: Went to Albertson’s for my B&J. All the pints in their ice cream section were covered in that white, crystallized frost that only means bad news. The B&J packaged date said February. And it was $4! Fuck that all!.

8:15 to 8:45 pm: Went to Ralph’s for my B&J. They had it on sale for $3.27. Lamented that a pint of ice cream costs as much as a gallon of gas and bought a copy of Shape magazine to read while I’m sucking down about 500 calories.

8:45 to 9:00 pm: Went through my e-mail and picked up around the Fortress of Solitude.

9:00 pm to 9:30 pm: Bathed in aloe body wash.

9:30 pm to 10:00 pm: Managed to get about ¼ of the way through my B&J. Decided to call it a weekend.

*Times are approximate, what, do you need to know what I’m doing every second????