Oh Whoa is Lee

There are probably 120 units in my condo complex. To average it out, I’m guessing there are about 2 people in each unit. Of course there are some with more, but there are some (like mine) with less. I’m also guessing, from the smell that’s seeping in the front windows and door, that there are about 1,267 cats -all peeing.

It’s freakin’ nasty. I thought, at first, that it was my dear cat-roommate Willow causing my kitchen to smell like an old, spinster lady’s underwear drawer, but the smell lessened as I walked through my bedroom to the bathroom, where the liter box actually resides.

I opened the front door and was nearly knocked over by the smell. As I walked outside I saw about four cats just hanging out on the steps. It was like that creepy Stephen King novel where the chick does it with cats. (At least that’s what I got out of that film.)

And cat pee isn’t one of those smells you can get used to. It’s not one of those smells where someone comes to visit and says “What the fuck is that?” and you say “What? Oh, I don’t smell a thing.” It’s a constant, horrendous smell.

The people in my complex let their cats roam freely and pee wherever they please. I hope they know that I follow the same thread of logic about my gun. I let the bullets roam freely and land wherever they please. The dude who invented the silencer is awesome. Turns out, cat’s don’t like bullets. Who knew?