Sign of The Slut

We got a new toaster in the break room. The old one was brought over on the Mayflower and took forever to toast. Whenever I’d use it, I’d put the bread in the toaster, go down the hall to the bathroom, check my mailbox and came back, with time to spare.

The office handyman offered me the old toaster but I decided it was way more than I needed. It’s a four-sliced toaster, and I’m a single gal who lives alone.

A four-sliced toaster in a single girl’s house just screams, “I’m a whore who will have you over, screw you and then make you a BLT.” I might as well put up a neon sign in my front window or a ‘take a ticket’ machine at my front door.