Quality Christmas Television
Television has been a big part of the Christmas Day festivities. Here’s the way it shook out.
8:00 a.m.: My Aunt Linda and Cousin Julie and I watched Channel 9’s gift to its viewers- a shot of a fireplace and holiday music playing over it. We watched for an hour and the logs in the fire never burned down. There was much debate as to whether it was a real log burning fireplace, some digital manipulation, or as Cousin Julie believed, witch craft. We all agreed that the log looked a lot like a hippo. Channel 9 wouldn’t burn a hippo on Christmas, would they?
9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.: “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.” Now I’ve seen a lot of cartoons in my day. I grew up with “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” “Frosty the Snowman” and even its extremely weak sequel, “Frosty’s Winter Wonderland” where the children attempt to hook Frosty up with some scank-snow woman named Crystal. But this cartoon was by far the most preposterous.
Yes, I know cartoons can take some artistic license simply because they are cartoons, but this was just offensive to all who know the song. Not only did they change the plot of the cartoon, wherein Grandma didn’t end up dead by hoof but instead is whisked away to Santa’s personal North Pole hospital, but they turn it into a remake of “Miracle on 34th Street” with a court scene reminiscent of “A Few Good Men.” But instead of Jack Nicholson on the stand, it was Santa. Plus the grandma in question’s last name was Spankinheimer. I am not making that up. This cartoon is sure to be a holiday classic.
10:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.: To say my family enjoys British humor would be an understatement. Christmas Eve was all about the BBC and this afternoon we spent watching my Cousin Stephanie’s French and Saunders DVD. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the dry humor and quick wit of the Brits, but much of it was about shit that only Brits know about, like their local news reporters and kidney bean pie. And half the dialog was lost on me ‘cause they were talking so fast. That’s why I enjoy Southern humor so much. I’ve never had to turn to someone in the middle of a Jeff Foxworthy special and ask, “What did he say?”
4:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.: I re watched the WPT Shooting Star final table from the Bay 101 club -also known as the game where Phil Gordon schooled an entire table. I would have to say this is my favorite WTP game. I know, choosing a favorite WPT game is like choosing a favorite child, but even parents secretly do that.
6:00 p.m. to now: “Death of a Cheerleader.” Christmas wouldn’t be the same without this holiday classic. Kellie Martin falls in love with Tori Spelling (the cheerleader), but when she professes her love for her, Tori tells her to “go away freak-show.” Kellie then fillet’s her like a salmon. You go Becca!
8:00 a.m.: My Aunt Linda and Cousin Julie and I watched Channel 9’s gift to its viewers- a shot of a fireplace and holiday music playing over it. We watched for an hour and the logs in the fire never burned down. There was much debate as to whether it was a real log burning fireplace, some digital manipulation, or as Cousin Julie believed, witch craft. We all agreed that the log looked a lot like a hippo. Channel 9 wouldn’t burn a hippo on Christmas, would they?
9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.: “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.” Now I’ve seen a lot of cartoons in my day. I grew up with “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,” “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” “Frosty the Snowman” and even its extremely weak sequel, “Frosty’s Winter Wonderland” where the children attempt to hook Frosty up with some scank-snow woman named Crystal. But this cartoon was by far the most preposterous.
Yes, I know cartoons can take some artistic license simply because they are cartoons, but this was just offensive to all who know the song. Not only did they change the plot of the cartoon, wherein Grandma didn’t end up dead by hoof but instead is whisked away to Santa’s personal North Pole hospital, but they turn it into a remake of “Miracle on 34th Street” with a court scene reminiscent of “A Few Good Men.” But instead of Jack Nicholson on the stand, it was Santa. Plus the grandma in question’s last name was Spankinheimer. I am not making that up. This cartoon is sure to be a holiday classic.
10:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.: To say my family enjoys British humor would be an understatement. Christmas Eve was all about the BBC and this afternoon we spent watching my Cousin Stephanie’s French and Saunders DVD. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the dry humor and quick wit of the Brits, but much of it was about shit that only Brits know about, like their local news reporters and kidney bean pie. And half the dialog was lost on me ‘cause they were talking so fast. That’s why I enjoy Southern humor so much. I’ve never had to turn to someone in the middle of a Jeff Foxworthy special and ask, “What did he say?”
4:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.: I re watched the WPT Shooting Star final table from the Bay 101 club -also known as the game where Phil Gordon schooled an entire table. I would have to say this is my favorite WTP game. I know, choosing a favorite WPT game is like choosing a favorite child, but even parents secretly do that.
6:00 p.m. to now: “Death of a Cheerleader.” Christmas wouldn’t be the same without this holiday classic. Kellie Martin falls in love with Tori Spelling (the cheerleader), but when she professes her love for her, Tori tells her to “go away freak-show.” Kellie then fillet’s her like a salmon. You go Becca!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home