If I Wrote the Movie

I’m so sick and tired of the same, weak-ass love triangles set up in movies wherein our hero meets the girl of his dreams, but darn it all, she has a boyfriend.

Actually that’s not the part that bugs me, the part that bugs me is that the girl’s boyfriend has to be a complete asshat, who is so obviously undeserving of her love that, of course, the audience roots for our hero and the girl to get together.

It’s not just that the hero and girl are a better fit, or just fall in love despite themselves they have to make the boyfriend a major jackass so that our hero doesn’t look like a complete douche for breaking up a happy couple.

Case in point: Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams in Wedding Crashers. These two would be oh so happy together, expect for…dantdantdaaaa…..the evil boyfriend. Less we forget what a dick the guy is, in every scene he’s either making disparaging remarks about women “look at the rack on her” or berating the "hired help" They do everything but put the guy in a black cape and have him twirling his greasy mustache.

I’m not just pointing fingers at Wedding Crashers. This is so terribly common in movies anymore that it’s become as cliché as the misunderstanding that breaks up the super couple ¾ of the way into the movie or the musical montage that’s supposed to take the place of actual dialog but show us how great the super couple is together.

I understand that there needs to be conflict in the relationship. It can’t just be about them meeting at a wedding and living happily ever after, but do they have to go for the easy out?

What I would like to point out is that the girl picked that jerk guy in the first place. She’s the one who is dating the creep at the beginning of the movie, what does that say about her? Shouldn’t our hero ask himself why he would want to date a girl who would pick a butt face like that?

And why does it always take these stupid women so long to finally “see the light” and ditch the doughnut for our hero? So many of these “climactic” moments happen at the freakin’ alter. It’s like, do these women not have a backbone enough to say, “Hey, I’d rather not have anyone then end up married to this fuck stick.” No, they need our hero to come in and sweep them up off their feet.

Just once I’d like the hero to come in, see the girl and have her dump her somewhat normal boyfriend, just ‘cause the hero is hotter, makes more money or is a close personal friend of Mr. Vince Vaughn. Mmmmm Vince Vaughn.